By Suzanne Carré
So far vampire sexuality is anything but boring and dull. It is one of the attractions of vampires. The vampires aren’t really interested in who they have sex with—male or female—it’s okay because they work around any physical incompatibility with some initiative solutions for deriving sexual pleasure. To this point, I have only dealt with pairing vampires, but vampires have multiple lovers, so threesomes are not only considered fun, but are actually necessary in some vampire interactions.
So how do vampires get to the place they want to be with more than one partner? Welcome to the peculiar vampire habit of the threesome.
The Convert
Even when vampires are being absolutely proper it seems their biology corrupts them. Suppose we have an amorous female vampire who bites a mortal man and converts him (lucky guy). Then, he needs to marry, and complete his vampire maturity, by biting a mortal for himself. Now he has two wives (even luckier guy).
Ignoring the reasons why he must get a girl for a second wife (because vampire marriage is later), our new male has a real problem on his hands. No, it’s not getting a bigger bed so he can have the two of them at the same time—no, no, our romeo has a real serious problem. Only his converted wife has the true wifely powers. His first vampire wife is more like a mistress because she didn’t bring with her the power of love. He now has to give his original lover, the one who freed him from a mortal existence with love’s first bite, the wife status of a converted female.
He does this with—you guessed it—sex and plenty of it. (This guy is getting luckier by the minute.) But there’s a hitch (there’s always a catch). The vampire rules state implicitly that a male must give his wife the first sex. So what does he do with two wives? Well, aside from gaining a pair of fangs, this lucky guy also got a good imagination in the vampire marriage package.
Our romeo has a choice—either do it the old-fashioned way or in true vampire style. I call it the old-fashioned way because it appears in some of the most ancient of human sex sources. It helps if you can read the original Sanskrit because Sir Richard Francis Burton, apparently couldn’t figure the coital technique, and omitted it from his translation of the Karma Sutra. Never mind, thanks to some vampire wisdom, they include the style in their manuals of love (seeing it’s important) so I describe it in my novel.
So much for human sex. The vampire solution to sex of one male with two females is by him wearing a MET. In this case, his girls are not just after his body for the excitement, but they need a donation from his prostate. They then take turns accepting him au naturel, as well as the substitute, with the advantage he can embrace them simultaneously. The point of this threesome is to get both girls to peak at the same time, they then kiss, and transfer psychic energy. The process demands more than just his regularity, but he’s rewarded with two wives of equal supernatural power.
Re-embraced
The vampire wife is the most powerful of the vampires. She commands her husband and rules the collective. But it doesn’t say in the vampire regulations that she has to be nice about it. If she loses her temper, watch out—she has the capacity to destroy any vampire of lower rank. Fights between vampires are held in the psychic plane, where they can harness the forces of nature, but not every conflict resolves in the loser destroyed. In many cases, the wife will expel the challenger from her husband’s harem.
This is fine so long as the disgraced female is only a concubine. If she is another wife, of equal or lower rank, then she has favorites who will coax her back. Now we need a male vampire. The harem male is eager to have this fallen flower re-embraced into the collective, so he can have sex with her, because he’s put time and effort into her sexual initiation. He now pleads her case to his wife. The disgraced female also begs for her consideration. If accepted then the ritual of approval demands the same threesome described earlier for two wives. But in this case, he must treat them absolutely equal or risk starting another war. His limit sets him to either the human way or using two METs to give the females the same attention.
Two boys for every girl
Having more than one male in a group is rare in the vampire world because males are rare. Genetics give the human population a statistical chance at being male but it doesn’t work that way for vampires. Brothers are exceptional and if they are twins—well that’s almost improbable. When twin males occur, the boys are usually so emotionally tied, they will marry the same female. Now they have a wife but they have to share. Between sex toys and playing the opposite sex, there are no limits to the threesomes they can experience.
In the case where a male bites a man, he acquires a brother by conversion. A vampire male can only do this once married (I’ll explain why later) so the three must share sex, preferably together, to reinforce their marital bond. These two males will also mate the same females together. For the converted male, the mating ritual is purely for the adventure until he marries for himself. To make the love of his wife so much more exhilarating, he will share the vampire marriage ritual with his brother in a threesome.
Three just for fun
In the many-male solution to harem workloads, two males often deal with the same female together for simple pleasure. In the love manuals penned by the bad boys of the preternatural domain, the necessity arises to reinforce the male bond. Lovemaking in a threesome makes the males more emotionally stable in their relationship. Finally, there is the male dealing with a pair of females because they are favorites. Ensuring the male respects the females’ right for sexual equality means that in fun sex, he indulges in a threesome to keep the girls happy at the same time.
Now I’ve dealt with vampire pairs, in all combinations, and looked at the main reasons for threesomes in vampire relationships, so next up is the moresomes vampires get up to. Yes, the group sex just gets better.
