By Suzanne Carré
If asked to think vampire, it is probable that you would focus to thoughts of a calculated and cold murderous nature. Although playing the vampire like this might be fun, this time I’ll concentrate on the vampire attitude to love and sex because that’s the theme of my novel. While my book has examples of immortals living up to cruel vampire expectations, the vampire mind is revealed more in their relationships and the way they share affection.
While it might seem ironic to say vampires have feelings of love toward others of their kind or even humans, it is only because vampires don’t display the sentimental side of love. They are more pragmatic and see no point in the way we humans tend to address love affairs with reckless abandon. Not only do vampires have the advantage over us that they can love forever, and so with their immortality they can relax and take the time to cultivate their love, but vampires aren’t afraid of love. If anything is true, the vampires define love in their manuals of love.
So there are three scenarios that best illustrate the vampire attitude to love and sex— couples who share no love, no sex, and the conversations of love.
Sex with no Love
Sex for vampires doesn’t require love, and they don’t expect love to emerge from a sexual relationship. If love spontaneously forms during a sexual relationship, the vampires celebrate it occurrence. Vampires protect and nurture any developed love because they know this has grown from their intimacy not the physical pleasure. With the intensity of feelings involved, the rules of private sex enhances the sexual pleasure the couple experiences and provides the benefits of sex.
But what happens to a vampire relationship when the love shared between the couple fails? If the sex was terrific between them then a psychic link established with their serious sex obstructs any hope of the couple staying together just for the sake of their mind-blowing sex. Vampires pride themselves on separating love from sex but they can’t deny the power of the bond formed between their minds. Every time they couple, they will “feel” the other and any antagonism created in their split prevents their sex from staying pleasurable. Without the continuity in their love, the vampires will separate.
Sex with someone you do not love at all (as in never loved) is easy for vampires and the rules for private sex protect the participants. For vampires, keeping love out of the sex keeps the sexual experience pure. Involving feelings with the sex and extending these feelings to their multiple lovers, makes vampire relationships very complicated and sustainable only if the lovers do in fact love each other.
Love with no Sex
What then of the opposite problem, when the sex was once great and now for some reason has ceased completely. Do vampires stay true to their partner for the sake of love? Love for vampires is independent of sex, so they do not consider the question a challenge since the love between two vampires is purely emotional and not designed for any physical exchange.
If the love shared between the vampires exists, and remains potent, the lack of sexual expression is not considered important to vampires. Pure love doesn’t require any physical confirmation at any time. Love, by its very essence, is very important to vampires. It is the reason for marriage, an excuse to reverse divorce, and the drive to establish a bond. Sex is only an expression of the love, not a means to the love, and certainly not a criterion for the love.
Talking about Love and Sex
Vampires welcome discussions on sex because they hold no reservations concerning the physical. With love they find the debate of the pure emotions a necessity. The vampires have an ideal of love, one sadly unattainable without thinking vampire. When it comes to love, vampires have a tendency to boast about their victories made in the name of love. In their manuals of love, they also are known to lament their losses.
However, when discussing pure physical sex, vampires do not boast about their sexual liaisons. This is of no consequence to their relationships. Sex is sex, so it doesn’t count towards the feelings shared in previous affairs. As a consequence, the vampires do not flaunt their bed triumphs and especially they do not complain about the poor experiences of sex they had. In the vampire attitude to sex, there are two reasons for this.
Firstly, if the sex was wanted then vampires will consider the sex good irrespective of the pleasure factor. Sex doesn’t always have to reach the highest levels of sensual gratification to be good. If the sex fails expectations, then your partner is one lover you never want to be with again so the vampires don’t complain, they act to avoid any future disappointments.
The second reason is the most important from the vampire point of view. Regretting the sex, especially if wanted, is a personal regret and one the vampires consider self-deprecating. Cursing the sex is cursing the self because the choices made in that moment of lust. As sexy beasts of the preternatural domain, vampires are creatures not cursed with shame the way we are. They have private sex to maintain respect and trust with any of their lovers. In this environment, there is no practical reason for a vampire to regret any sex after midnight.
The vampires have a basic rule for sexual experiences— never whisper upon your love pillow. This means, don’t put down the sex just because your partner disappointed you. Don’t degrade the pleasure you experienced if the other deserted you. And most importantly, don’t humiliate yourself to protect any unscrupulous behavior by your supposed lover. To the vampires, a bad experience is bad enough without the bad feelings to follow and continually punish the mind.
Vampire Wisdom
While we could never hope to be like vampires and separate love from sex, keeping our emotions cooled enough so the sex doesn’t influence our hearts and mind, it is possible to consider the virtue of how vampires treat sex and love. If anything, we can gain much from their centuries of experience.
