By Suzanne Carré
One thing is certain, vampires are usually very glad to see you, since your blood is hot and they’re hungry, but as far as labels go—gay and lesbian—well, that’s a tough one. Neither are very descriptive of the same-gender sex vampires indulge in. We distinguish homosexual activities by whether they are all male or all female. Vampires are more interested in the difference between need and want when it comes to sex.
So lets take a look at all four categories—the need and want of sex for both males and females in same sex couplings. And for a change, we begin with the girls.
Vamprillas Forever
Girl on girl sex is a real favorite when it comes to vampires in the movies. The girls tantalize the male vampire but he’s more into watching then any action. Us girls know why—we’re just so sexy when rolling together between the sheets. Oh yes, and Bram Stoker gave his Dracula three girls—sweet! Yet, the appearance of all girl sex on film is more a consequence of male directors than anything vampire. But these men have not just made classic vampire movies, they set a trend for what kinky is in vampire sex.
Good girls need sex
We like to think we know how the girls get it on but that’s only human sex dressed up with a couple of capes and plastic fangs. Vampire females need sex so they can feed from other hunting females. The most important female, the wife, doesn’t hunt at all so she must snuggle up to another girl or risk starvation. She quickly gathers certain females loyal to her and treats these as favorites. They become her lovers, and she prefers to couple with these, during the vital sex when drinking blood.
Above and beyond the necessity of all girl sex, females couple with their favorites because they want sex this way. They do this for many reasons. The most important is the rush of male sex. The male vampire has a routine governed by his wife, if he’s married, and the required sex of females in the collective. He’s only got so much time in his waking hours to make all the girls happy and deposit the secretions they want. To do this, he concentrates on getting her response, as quickly as possible, and leaving for the next one on his list. He’s certainly not interested in any romance.
But with a girlfriend, she can take her time and share the present she got from him (because vampires have specialized sex toys for this). Female vampires have few possessions but their sex toys are key for making sex worth it. The array of inserts for specific stimulation allows the female to maintain her excitation for as long as her mind and body can cope. She depends on her girlfriend(s) to help her endure the pleasure.
Females always look like their on the verge of ecstasy and this suits the male when it shortens his visit dramatically. It means there’s no foreplay in this perfunctory sex. First he makes sure the path is clear, then he performs knowing he can easily push her over the edge. The simple courtesy of putting the toy back when he’s finished, means with one kiss he’s gone, and the girls relax together. They’re not in any hurry to rebuild the pleasure sensations. After all, they have all night.
So do female vampires have favorites and stay away from males in a pure all girl bond? Not unless they’re prepared to give up their supernatural power and eventually perish (some records suggest the suffering exceeds a century) via a loss of sexual psychic energy.
Bad Boys Club
The coupling of two male vampires is very rare in the preternatural domain. This is not because the idea is repulsive to vampires but because males are usually very lonely sexy beasts. If a collective has more than twenty females then there will be more than one male to handle the sexual demands. In this case, male to male sex becomes necessary.
The problem for a male vampire is the way sex works. His secretions initiate the females making them “faithful” to him in the chemical sense. It’s only important during mating but while she waits for her next cycle, other males in the collective are fair game. Sex with a male other than her own usually prevents her heat, and females will invite for sly sex for contraceptive purposes. It might save her the hassle, but it means her male might have to start her sexual initiation from scratch.
The many-male problem
To solve this problem the males share their girls. In male bonding, vampires couple face to face, one plays the girl and then they swap roles. The sex must stay equal or the sharing of females doesn’t work. And why face to face? Because consumption via the entrails (either end for boys) will not lead to absorption. So, by regularly accepting each other, the males equalize their chemical signature. This means they now have sexual access to many more females, which adds variety, but it also means they must mate the same female together (and I’ll deal with group sex next).
Sharing girls also happens when the male has a male lover. For married males, a male lover gives him sexual pleasures he can’t achieve with the females. His boyfriend acts as a reservoir of male feelings, especially pure love, and through him he can recharge the powerful emotion. Sex may only be on a psychic level for this to occur but it is none-the-less important. Sharing of the females between bonded males in love includes not only helping out with the work, but swapping favorites, and exchanging wives.
But what about two males together and never having female vampires? In the preternatural domain, this is not possible due to a maturity problem solved only through matrimony. (I’ll deal with vampire marriage later.)
So back to the original question—are vampires homosexual at any time in their sexual existence? Even with the necessity to share in same-sex couplings, vampires are still not completely one sex. Girls pack a male part between their legs, the boy’s joy stick is female by character, and the males like to play girl roles even with their wives. I guess the only safe thing to say is—sex is sex. We could have saved ourselves all the trouble if only we asked a vampire in the first place.
Now it’s time to look at group sex. Yes vampires have group sex but like all sexual activities, sometimes they need sex and other times they want it. Get ready for a bed full of vampires.
